Kayla Wells: The Fence

Mine from yours. Defining barriers. Keep you out. Keep them in. We as a people put up fences for all kinds of reasons. I have even seen homeowners put them up just because “people like fences.”


I know I am a master fence-builder. No, I don’t build fences made of wood (I probably should! I live where there are bears, mountain lions, and, hopefully, not too many scary people). I am talking about fences around my heart. I sit in my little corner at my daughter’s ballet class, building brick-by-brick to keep the judgment out, to protect my heart from what someone might say. I’ve also been on the other side of that…sitting outside the fence, looking desperately for a hole in other women’s fences, hoping to make friends.


I wonder if things might look a little better if there weren’t so many fences around our hearts. If we all just at least remembered to leave the gate open for a stranger once in a while.


I’m not sure I am brave enough. I kinda like keeping my own little life to myself. After all I can’t hurt myself that way right?! (Uh, no…)


Ok, I can do this. Phone down, in my purse. Smile. Look up. Ahhh what to say? Here I go: “Your daughter is a beautiful dancer!” Hold breath. No, breathe. Slowly. Smile… “Thank you. So is yours. Has she been in ballet long?”


And just like, that the gate is opened. I don’t know her name–this other fence builder. But, maybe….I will.


I would encourage each of you today: toss caution to the wind and build a gate, rather than mending the fence between you…build a gate….and leave it open. Maybe the next time you pass the gate, a smile will be there. And maybe it won’t, but, now…at least you are thinking about it…I bet you don’t pass a fence today without looking for a gate. Be blessed, my friends….


KaylaKayla Wells was a member of Bigfork MOPS for 4 1/2 years and served on the steering team for 3 years. She is married to Dan and is a mom to three. You can find her at Mommy’s Soapbox.


photo credit: Will Montague via photopin cc

3 thoughts on “Kayla Wells: The Fence

  1. Thanks for sharing Kayla! The past couple years, I’ve been tearing my fences down too. I used to be the shy one, who waited for someone else to invite me somewhere, who waited for someone else to talk to me first. I was too scarred to make the first move in friendships. But, I’m in a different place today. Now, I’m the one pursuing friendships and making friends. I’m the one starting conversation at the park where my kids play, in the grocery store, or anywhere I’m at. I love meeting new people now. It’s scary at first, but it’s so rewarding to take the fences down!

    • Thanks Shira. I definitely struggle with this. I am naturally shy and introverted. But, some of my dearest friendships have come from letting down my guard. Be blessed!

  2. Pingback: Short on time | Mommy's Soap Box

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